The difficult (but also nicest) thing about doing a PhD is that you have to make your own planning. You can choose which experiments you do today and on which part of the project you spend most of your time.

Motivated by the professor of the department of Medical Microbiology and Infection Control of the VU medical center, I joined a grant competition and wrote a research proposal. The proposal made it through the selection process and I got a 4-year PhD contract to do research on bladder cancer therapy. At that moment I had a social life, a great boyfriend and enough hobbies to spend a working week.

The difficult (but also nicest) thing about doing a PhD is that you have to make your own planning. You can choose which experiments you do today and on which part of the project you spend most of your time. But also: if you don’t do the job, no one will. Along with the fact that you’ll have to deliver a thesis including 4 papers in 4 years, many PhD students will start to work their asses off, without having the feeling that it is ever enough.

So did I. I tried to work as efficiently as possible, tried to carry out all the ideas that my professor suggested, worked day-in-day-out. Another experiment? I can squeeze it in today. Do I have to leave tonight? Then I’ll start working at 7 in the morning. And the pile of articles on my desk I can read in the weekend, can’t I? Apparently I couldn’t. While my to-do-list ever increased, my energy and motivation went down the drain. The more stressed I was, the bigger the chaos in my head became and the less I seemed to be able to set any priorities at all. Everything seemed equally important and I didn’t feel I could get anything done at all. Panic!

On top of that, I extensively compared myself to others, which only created more uncertainties and didn’t do my self-esteem any good. Did others work much harder than I did? Shouldn’t I also come to the lab in the weekend? And for sure my colleagues would think I lacked motivation when I would leave at 5.30 to go home. Not to mention I was planning on taking 2 (or maybe even 3!) weeks off for summer holidays!

But after some time and some work to improve my self-esteem, I came to the conclusion that I’m not the kind of person that works 10 or 11 hours a day. Great if that makes others happy, but not for me. Of course, if there’s an experiment that doesn’t fit in the 8-hour workday, I will stay longer to finish it. But not every day, not 7 days a week. It’s not only about efficient planning, but even more about setting boundaries, knowing when enough is enough. It appears I actually do need a weekend. I need time to relax. I need to see my friends and family. It turns out I’m only human after all.

Now, I strongly feel that to work efficiently and perform well, you have to be well rested. You have to make sure you make time to reset your mind, to relax, to free your thoughts. And no, it isn’t easy. I still have weeks that I already feel exhausted on Wednesday. It still is difficult to shut the door behind me at that moment and leave a big pile of work unfinished. At first it will only stress me out more and for a moment I’ll think I have to work harder, just have to keep pushing myself. But more and more I realize that after this mountain there will always be another one to climb. The work will never be done, so why not stop climbing today and set up your camp to make sure you’re fit again tomorrow?

Today, I’m in my 4th year of the PhD project and fortunately I can say I’m doing fine and actually even better than I thought om beforehand. My project is going well, and, more importantly, I still see my friends and family on a regular basis and I’m still in the same loving relationship. And I just signed up for a weekly sewing course to learn to make my own clothing. It takes some effort, some courage, but yes, it is absolutely possible to have a life while doing a PhD. Just make sure your life is a priority.

By Maroeska Burggraaf
Maroeska Burggraaf is a PhD student at the Department of Medical Molecular Microbiology at VU Medical Center in Amsterdam.

Interested in receiving new career related articles in your mailbox? Sign up here!